Love Patient Love Kind

Signs that your Relationship is Healthy

  1. You argue but there is way more cooperation to make the dynamic between the two of you work when you really sit and consider it all.
  2. The have separate ambitions goals which you help each other achieve AND you have collective goals to grow yourselves as a couple or family.
  3. There is trust. Like real trust. If he is going out with the boys you know that’s where he really is. If she tells you that he is just a friend, you don’t stalk his Facebook looking for incriminating pictures…or go through her phone.
  4. You can speak your mind freely without judgement. Some people avoid speaking just because of how their feelings were shot down in past relationships. If you can’t express yourself, your relationship may not be a safe harbor.
  5. When you do argue you are able to let it roll off your back. You understand that one disagreement isn’t as important as being a unit. SO you cool off (quickly) and figure out how to move forward.
  6. I guess #5 ties into compromising. No relationship is successful without a lot of compromise. On both sides. I no longer fight with my wife about the color of the curtains in the kitchen if she wants silver drapes…okay fine. Just don’t put them in my man cave (it’s more of an empty room with books but it’s MY empty room).
  7. Space is given when needed. I personally don’t believe in “breaks.” If you need a break then you might as well move on if you’re with me. But I do believe in giving time to so the other person can re-energize and do some self caring. This includes going to the gym separately when needed, reading, meditation, shopping alone.
  8. There is equality. I’m a pretty opinionated/focused person. But I can’t afford to treat anyone without respect and not listen to other opinions.
  9. You give. That’s it. I used to give, when I was dating in order to influence the girl or demonstrate that the type of salary I have. I would give really expensive gifts…so you know I’m not broke or cheap. Now I give not expecting anything in return. It’s just fun to give. I find that giving cannot exist where there is no love.
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How to get your passion back- One Minute with Jay

When you are making positive improvements and then it suddenly feels like you hit a brick wall… and I mean hard.

This is a scary place to be because it’s like someone has deflated your balloon and you are back to square one. Back on the ground when you were flying high.

Here’s how to get your passion back: do it again. This may seem over simplistic but you get the energy to do the thing by doing the thing.

Passion is perseverance. So do it again. Do exactly what helped you to get results. The passion will resurface as you work through your setback.

And I believe this holds true for anything in your life as long as you love it.

The perfect example is the relationship with my mom. We are pretty close but it wasn’t always that way.

There were times where she didn’t understand my choices of girlfriends (neither did I but I will never admit that to her), hobbies, or even my profession.

This strained our relationship to the point where we didn’t speak for months. She’s stubborn and at that time…well genetics…you know? I had a little touch of that too.

But eventually I caved and we began to talk once a week for about 10 minutes. Over time that expanded until the relationship was repaired. We both had enough love remaining in our hearts to try again.

Maybe this is not your story but you have loss some passion towards your girlfriend, spouse, honey dip, boo thang.

I find that familiarity can also create distance in a relationship emotionally. Routine can make you less excited with seeing them everyday.

Especially when kids get involved. You know that as soon as you walk in from work you are on diaper duty or toy patrol.

With every other responsibility, you forget what brought you together…the love.

Maybe it’s time to take boo thang out on a date like you used too. Do it again.

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